no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
