so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
