I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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