Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you will always have a special place in my vag
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
