we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize