i don't like sucking hair
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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