im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
