I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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