i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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