I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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