I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
