thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
