just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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