I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
