if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
