forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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