Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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