im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
