its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i out mim tonsoeep
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