I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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