he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
