its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize