just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
