ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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