grandma shit on top of the toilet
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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