I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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