we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
