do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
