I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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