Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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