i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
