There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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