Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize