sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
