before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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