remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
