U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
