went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so let's talk penis.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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