dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize