dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
