i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And then he peed in my hair
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