I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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