i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize