So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize