I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She said her name was "party"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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