is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
