One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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