They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
