Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
