You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
