i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize