he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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