your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
