when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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