glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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