IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
