I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
