She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
